Your partner’s phone buzzes during dinner, and they immediately reach for it. Sound familiar? While smartphones today are a part of daily life, there’s a difference between normal, healthy usage and emotional dependency that can quietly damage relationships. And with 44% of adults in the United States experiencing anxiety when separated from their smartphones, it’s clear this problem affects far more people than we might realize.
Faye Hwang, Business Development Manager at LDShop, a global game top-up platform, sees firsthand how digital attachment affects people’s real-world connections. Having worked extensively with gaming communities and digital behavior patterns, Hwang understands how technology can replace genuine human interaction.
“The gaming industry shows us how powerfully technology can capture attention and emotional investment,” explains Hwang. “When someone becomes more emotionally responsive to their device than their partner, it creates the same disconnection we see in problematic gaming habits.”
Below, Hwang shares five warning signs that suggest your partner has developed an unhealthy attachment to their phone.
5 Red Flags Signaling a Partner’s Overdependence on Their Phone
- They Can’t Stop Scrolling, Even During Important Moments
When your partner automatically reaches for their phone during conversations, meals, or intimate moments, it signals their device has become a primary source of stimulation. This constant scrolling behavior mirrors what Hwang observes in gaming communities.
“In gaming, we see players who can’t resist checking their progress, even during family time,” says Hwang. “The same dopamine-driven behavior happens with social media and messaging apps. When someone prioritizes their screen over eye contact with their partner, they’re essentially choosing digital validation over real connection.”
- They’re Secretive About Their Phone Activity
Healthy relationships involve openness, but phone-dependent partners often become protective of their devices. They might angle their screen away, quickly close apps when you approach, or show anxiety when separated from their phone.
“This secretive behavior isn’t necessarily about infidelity,” explains Hwang. “Sometimes people feel shame about how much time they spend on their devices, or they’ve developed private digital relationships that feel more engaging than their real-world ones.”
- They Get Defensive When You Mention Their Phone Use
Bringing up excessive phone use shouldn’t trigger an argument, but emotionally dependent users often react defensively. They might minimize their usage, blame work demands, or turn the conversation back on you.
“Defensive reactions usually indicate someone knows their behavior is problematic but feels unable to control it,” says Hwang. “It’s similar to how gamers react when confronted about excessive play time – the defensiveness often masks feelings of shame or loss of control.”
- They Experience Phantom Vibration Syndrome
When someone constantly thinks their phone is buzzing or ringing when it isn’t, they’ve developed phantom vibration syndrome. This psychological phenomenon shows how deeply their nervous system has become attuned to their device.
“We see this frequently in gaming communities where players become hyper-alert to game notifications,” notes Hwang. “When your brain is constantly expecting digital stimulation, it creates false alerts. This level of physiological attachment usually means the device has become emotionally central to their daily experience.”
- Their Phone Is the Last Thing They See at Night and First Thing in the Morning
Perhaps the most telling sign is when your partner’s phone bookends their day. If they’re scrolling before sleep and immediately checking messages upon waking, their device has replaced you as their primary emotional connection.
“When someone’s day begins and ends with their device rather than acknowledging their partner, it shows where their emotional priority lies,” explains Hwang. “In gaming, we call this ‘always-on’ mentality – where the digital world becomes more immediate and important than physical presence.”
How to Address Phone Attachment in Your Relationship
Hwang suggests starting with honest conversation rather than accusations. “Approach it like you would any other relationship issue – with curiosity rather than criticism.”
She recommends establishing phone-free zones during meals and before bed, and suggests couples find activities that provide the same engagement as their devices. “The focus should be on making devices work for your relationship, not against it.”
Faye Hwang, Business Development Manager at LDShop, commented:
“Working in the gaming industry has given me unique insight into how digital engagement can become more compelling than real-world relationships. We see players who invest hundreds of hours building virtual connections while their actual relationships suffer. The same patterns appear with general phone dependency.
“Gaming communities often exhibit ‘device-first’ behaviors where online achievements feel more rewarding than offline accomplishments. Players might prioritize guild meetings over date nights, or feel more excitement about game updates than conversations with their partners. This doesn’t mean addiction necessarily – it’s more about where people seek their emotional rewards and recognition.
“The gaming lifestyle shows us how digital spaces can provide instant gratification, social validation, and emotional regulation that real relationships require more effort to maintain. When someone’s phone becomes their primary source of dopamine, entertainment, and social connection, their romantic relationship inevitably becomes secondary. The key is recognizing when digital engagement stops being a hobby and starts replacing genuine intimacy.”
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto: